mission accomplished.

It is the 31 of March.

I finished reading the Book of Mormon today.

I did it! I read the entire Book of Mormon in one month!

We were encouraged to choose a specific topic to focus on while read...

I originally chose the theme of obedience/disobedience -- but then I decided to also look at how the righteous behave while surrounded by wickedness.

I chose the topic because of everything going on with my sister. I wanted to know how to deal with all of the crap going on around this place.

Mormon shed some light on things for me towards the end of the book...

"Behold, I had led them, notwithstanding their wickedness I had led them many times to battle, and had loved them, according to the love of God which was in me, with all my heart; and my soul had been poured out in prayer unto my God all the day long for them; nevertheless, it was without faith, because of the hardness of their hearts." (Mormon 3:12)

Ok, so the Nephites are pretty wicked at this point in time... and have been for awhile now.

Here's how Mormon handled them:

Led them into battle

LOVED them with all his heart

Poured out his heart in prayer for them

Got it.

I'm feeling good right now. I'm gonna take a page out of the Mormon book of how to treat others.

Thanks Mormon.

idle.

Confession : I have not done very much since coming out to Utah.

My evenings are always pretty full -- but the day time is filled with... well, not much.

"...thou shalt not idle away thy time..." (D&C 60:13)

Today I have spent a couple (or more) hours playing my favorite game. FIFA 2010. I played online so I felt like it was somewhat better than just playing random games. But still -- not exactly productive.

I need a job.

socialism.

There is a lot of discussion about the direction the government is taking this country. There will always be people complaining about what the government is doing. However, the health bill that I watched President Obama sign earlier has certainly escalated the number and intensity of the voices speaking out.

The oft-used and inevitable comparison is between the policies being passed and socialism.

America? Socialist?

Never.

Well.... maybe.

And this is NOT a recent development.

I love this talk...

"According to the laws and constitution of the people, which I have suffered to be established, and should be maintained for the rights and protection of all flesh, according to just and holy principles." (D&C 101:77)

I understand that times have changed and there have been amendments passed since the foundation of the country that have been necessary.

However, if the prophet in 1965 was warning about changes being made constitutionally that would lead the country down a destructive path -- imagine what our prophet could say today?

I am grateful to know that when President Hinckley spoke and when our current prophet, President Monson, speaks, it is directly from the Lord.

The Lord will not leave us to struggle and figure things out on our own.

battle.

Dance Battle University was held Saturday night in Rexburg, Idaho.

I think it was the fourth or fifth time our crew, Groundhounds, battled at this annual event -- too bad this was pretty much the smallest crowd we've had during our time going up there.

But for me the best part was getting to see everyone again. It was a chance to reunite and catch up with friends.

"... behold to his astonishment, he met with the sons of Mosiah...

... therefore Alma did rejoice exceedingly to see his brethren; and what added more to his joy, they were still his brethren in the Lord..." (Alma 17:1-2)

I'm not sure if it's because we're getting older or there is some unknown element at work, but for the most part, everyone is headed in a good direction.

We've done our fair share of riotous living together -- much like the sons of Mosiah. Although we never sought to destroy the church, we certainly enjoyed just doing our own thing for awhile.

We never had an "Alma the Younger" experience -- but it looks as though everyone has made there way back to the path (still far from perfect - but doing our best).

It's funny to look back at the way we used to approach "happiness" -- or what we thought was happiness. We thought it wickedness was happiness. We thought that doing what we wanted would ultimately bring us the greatest joy.

We were wrong.

I'm so imperfect. But I've left behind the riotous living. We all have. And although we all have our own personal struggles everyone seems happy.

An everlasting type of happiness.

In 5 years the greatest joy I could have would be to see all of us still doing our best to move down the path back to Heavenly Father.

*Hopefully in 5 years a few more of us will be married -- and maybe a few of us will have kids (I'll take married -- but maybe not kids yet) Haha.

It's an old picture -- and not the whole crew ... But I lost all of my pictures when my hard drive crashed.

i can only imagine.

My mom had this video pulled up on her computer the other day.

I've seen this video before BUT every time I see it I am touched.

"But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him." (Moroni 7:47)

If you haven't seen this you HAVE to watch it...

Love & Fear.

I saw Leah last night.

I am so ridiculously in love right now. I cannot stop smiling. I feel like I can do anything when I am with her.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear..." (1 John 4:18)

Yesterday I wrote about my constant need to know how things would work out, etc...

The only thing going through my mind right now is peace. I am not worried about anything. I just want to be with her. Everything will work out.

I love watching romantic comedies. I am all about the way "love" is typically presented in these types of movies. It's always about how everything goes wrong, but the couple is SO in love that they overcome all of the odds and end up together, ridiculously happy.

All love = no fear.

I finally have the love I have always wanted.

faith ----> marriage

Faith precedes the miracle...

How about this -- faith precedes the marriage.

I want to get married.

I really do.

And I think I'm almost at the point where I am ready to just say Heavenly Father this is a complete act of faith I need you to step in and make this possible.

I like to have direction. This may come as a surprise to some who have enjoyed the company of carefree Kyle -- but it's true. I love knowing how things work out.

This is not faith. Not even close.

If I were to get married right now I would have no idea where we would live, how we would make money, pretty much everything involving general survival.

But countless times I have been reminded by those who have gone before that if you wait to have all the answers you will miss out on the opportunities for growth and precious experiences that can be drawn upon for years to come.

I was reminded today of a couple who began their journey with $3 between them and school loans to be paid off. My mind trailed off and thought of my mission president who told us about how he and his wife had nothing when they were married. I look at them now and see tremendous success.

Why is our generation so hesitant to move forward without having first "figured" things out?

We are the by-product of a society that thrives on knowing! The Internet is filled with a vast array of knowledge for the taking. Everyone is seeking to learn more and gain more knowledge.

It makes sense that we would want to have things figured out before we move forward.

But knowing is not faith.

"...faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true." (Alma 32:21)

And when we are not called upon to exercise faith we do NOT grow.

How could we?

I love hearing the stories of couples who survived difficult times. I want to be that kind of couple. I want to be able to look back and see that my faith grew to face the challenge and that in the moment of necessity, Heavenly Father provided.

waiting.

"Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith." (Mosiah 23:21)

Why would Heavenly Father try our patience and faith?

Every time my patience has been tried I have had two options :

Man up - find some extra faith somewhere and use it as an opportunity for growth

Mope - ignore the situation and just endure it

I've done both.

Well, actually I've done both and then every version possible in between the two.

The typical Sunday School answer is that we need to man up and find the faith necessary to use the "trying" situation as an opportunity for growth.

Sunday School answers are funny because I think they need further clarification.

I want to know 'how'.

HOW am I supposed to find the faith necessary to make a trying situation something positive -- while I am in the middle of the situation?

I feel like my life is one giant patience trying situation at the moment.

I'm waiting - waiting - waiting.

brackets.

The top 3 events each year:

Christmas

4th of July (and all of the summer vacation)

March Madness

I love March Madness!

The brackets were announced yesterday. I have goosebumps!

March Madness = Gambling

Straight bets, Parlays and Teasers! Oh the excitement!

Last year I tried to not make any plays -- it didn't work.

It won't happen this year for several reasons:

I promised Leah I wouldn't : )

The Church says we shouldn't gamble

I'm completely broke -- actually broker than broke is more accurate.

Despite the lack of gambling excitement this year I found something else to add a new element to things.

Last year Colin Cowherd of "The Herd" on ESPN added a twist to March Madness -- he set up a bracket that involved cereal. Honey Nut Cheerios defeated Frosted Flakes in the finals!

This year he has proposed superhero/villain bracket.

It's a great addition to the excitement of the standard March Madness!

As I listened to Cowherd talk about his superhero/villain bracket my mind immediately thought of the scriptures and a potential scripture bracket!!!

I decided to stick with this years CES book of scripture: Book of Mormon

Let's take a look at the field of 32 in this years bracket:

*Let's not forget that I have no job, no life and my girlfriend lives 2000 miles away -- time is plentiful.

I have set up two regions; the righteous and the wicked.

At the end of the first round of the real tournament I will post the results from my first round of the Book of Mormon Madness bracket!

Let me know who you think should make it through the first round!

incentives. part deux.

Why do we sometimes find the incentives to disobey more enticing than their counterparts?

It's really a two-part answer:

First, the incentives to disobey are usually granted immediately.

Second, the incentives to disobey have been packaged extremely well.

How do we overcome the well-packaged immediate incentives of disobedience?

I know what the general Sunday School answer is -- but to be honest I'm not quite sure how to do it.

It seems that the only way to overcome the attractive distractions of disobedience is to keep your eyes firmly fixed on the eternal timeline.

"... remember to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal." (2 Nephi 9:39)

But how do you keep your mind eternally focused when the carnal exists in the present?

Ultimately the incentives to obey are ridiculously better than the ones to disobey.

"... you shall eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God." (D&C 14:7)

Obey = Greatest gift

But again the question is HOW do you keep an eternal perspective amidst the chaos of the present?

It's hard because in order to do that we need to be constantly and actively engaged in the Gospel. Taking the smallest break from the Gospel allows Satan to get a foot in the door -- and that's all he really needs to get us looking at the other incentives out there.

incentives.

I just began reading "Super Freakonomics" the follow-up to "Freakonomics".

At the most basic level both books are about one concept:

People respond to incentives.

This is the story of mankind.

People make decisions based on what they are going to get out of it. The incentives vary from situation to situation but they are always there.

Even acts of "selfless" service are self-serving.

Why do you serve?

You may not expect to get anything in return.

You may not even be doing it because you expect blessings.

You may be at the pinnacle of righteousness and everything you do is done simply because you love the Lord.

But -- if that is the case then you serve because you get the satisfaction of knowing you have shown your love for the Lord through your obedience and service.

Now that we've established that all decisions are incentive based the key is to find the incentives that get people to do things.

"... consider the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual..." (Mosiah 2:41)

Incentive: Blessings -- both temporal and spiritual.

So why are we disobedient?

Simply, we find the incentive to disobey more enticing than the incentive to be obedient.

Why?

No, but seriously... Why?

small scourge.

"And ye shall also forgive one another your trespasses; for verily I say unto you, he that forgiveth not his neighbor's trespasses when he says that he repents, the same hath brought himself under condemnation." (Mosiah 26:31)

Ugh.

Ok, I shouldn't say 'ugh' -- I recognize that I am in constant need of mercy from the Lord. I'm pretty sure we all are.

This means we need to be dishing out forgiveness at every opportunity we get.

Lucky for me that opportunity presents itself multiple times every day in this house!

But where do you draw the line with this whole forgiveness thing?

Is there a line?

Technically we are commanded to always forgive. ALWAYS.

I know the Lord is the ultimate judge and I'm totally cool with that --but does that mean I have to sit idly by as I watch my sister destroy this house?

I mean, let's not forget that even the Savior got pretty steamed when the money changers were defiling his Father's house.

"And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers' money, and overthrew the tables;

And he said unto them that sold doves; Take these things hence; make not my Father's house an house of merchandise." (John 2:15-16)

The Savior got so mad that he was flipping tables over and was using a little scourge of cords to drive people out of the temple.

I'd like to think that means I am allowed to make my own little scourge of cords, flip my sisters bed over and drive her out of the house -- too extreme?

Too bad.

Forgiveness -- I will give freely.

But that can't be it. There must be a second part to this, right?

Shouldn't it read something like this:

Kyle, forgive everyone for everything -- BUT when things get verbally and physically abusive you can bust out your small scourge and start rolling heads : )

I'm probably wrong, but tonight I like the sound of it!

private tears.

I couldn't hold the tears back this morning.

We watched Gordon B. Hinckley: A Giant Among Men in seminary this morning. I highly recommend it. It is a touching film that documents some of the key events in the life of this great man. I was touched as the movie ended and I heard his testimony and felt the spirit again confirm that this man was called of God.

We discussed the mission of Samuel the Lamanite this week. He did not have an easy mission. He was called to preach to a people immersed in wickedness.

"...as many as there were who did not believe in the words of Samuel were angry with him; and they cast stones at him upon that wall, and also many shot arrows at him as he stood upon the wall..." (Helaman 16:2)

We spent a lot of time talking about how our disobedience and murmuring is the equivalent of stoning the modern-day prophets.

As I sat there listening to the emotion in President Hinckley's testimony I was touched.

I thought of my personal disobedience.

I thought of the problems at home with my sister.

I thought of the struggles I am having in my relationship.

I saw all of my weaknesses magnified.

I thought of all the blessings and opportunities I have forfeited.

I struggled to bear my testimony. I love those youth. I see qualities and attributes in each of them that many of them have yet to discover. I was touched as I thought about the opportunity before them.

They don't have to make the mistakes I did. They don't have to wait to claim the blessings of the Lord.

They can have those blessings now.

I am in the middle of the most uncertain and often discouraging situations I have ever faced -- but the Lord has also put me in the most rewarding and spiritually strengthening situations as well. I am happy and I feel a peace that I haven't had in years.

While a young man Hinckley decided to dedicate his life to the Lord.

I felt that same desire this morning.

olive branch extended.

For the hundredth time the olive branch was extended last night.

However, this time the conditions were non-negotiable. They had to be. The situation has reached a severity that requires drastic action.

My drug doing little sister is not just a run of the mill user. It turns out she has been involved with dealing. At this moment she owes one of her "best friends" about $100 to pay for her phone bill (a phone she bought so that she would not have to answer to Mom and Dad). And it turns out that the "best-friend" and her current boyfriend are avid drug distributors.

I've watched enough crime movies to know that when you owe money to someone involved with drugs and you can't pay them -- well, it tends to get a bit messy.

Fear and frustration were evident in her pleas for help. Mom and Dad agreed to pay the fee if she would just follow the conditions of the agreement. IF you are truly worried about having your face beaten in by your drug dealing "best friend" then you would most likely accept ANY deal brought to the table.

Not my stubborn sister.

Rather than accept the proposal she decided to escalate things with her loose tongue, "Fine, if you won't help, I'm just going to send them after you... And that IS a threat."

The incomprehensible thing about the Lord is that even at our most defiant He says that if we will just accept His conditions then we can be forgiven and move on as if nothing ever took place. It's not easy -- but it is possible.

Watching this whole situation reminded me of Moroni and Zarahemnah.

Moroni surrounded the army of Zarahemnah and said -- look, you know you're trapped, just give up the weapons, walk away and never return. Not a bad proposal to keep the peace.

Zarahemnah said no.

Words were exchanged, somebody got scalped and the war resumed.

"... behold they were pierced and smitten, yea and did fall exceedingly fast before the swords of the Nephites..." (Alma 44:18)

The Lamanites finally agreed to the deal.

"... Moroni caused that the work of death should cease again..." (Alma 44:20)

Let's see -- my sister refused the conditions of peace and then made some bold threats.

According to the story the next part involves a tremendous slaughter. My heart breaks for her -- but mostly for my parents. They don't want this. They taught all of us growing up that if we would just try our best to be obedient that they would help us and bless us with as much as they could.

Oh -- and a word of warning to my sister. Don't invite your friends to come here to take what you have failed to pay them.

It will get messy.

"...ye shall defend your families even unto bloodshed." (Alma 43:47)

Not alone.

What do you do when times are tough?

I've handled hard times in a variety of ways :

• Stop thinking and pretend like nothing is wrong -- this typically is only a short term solution.
• Sleep -- also only a short term solution, eventually your body just cant sleep anymore and when you wake up, not much has changed.
• Turn to friends & family

"Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands." (D&C 121:9)

The Lord told this to Joseph Smith during a time of great difficulty.

I heard this scripture tonight and thought of all the times I have struggled in my life and the people the Lord sent me during those times -- family, friends, mentors and leaders.

I have been blessed in spades with individuals who have helped me in moments of despair.

Things have been hard since I moved to Virginia.

Even with my family here there have been times of incredible loneliness. Times when I felt like I couldn't handle the trials placed before.

I have been blessed with a wonderful family. My parents have been a tremendous support. I have met other YSA, leaders, youth, missionaries and others that have helped me in my struggles.

But I think the biggest thing I have learned since moving back home is that the Savior is a friend. He is a friend who understands exactly how I feel and wants to help me.

When we allow Him -- He can be our greatest friend and support.

I am not alone.

pillar of salt.

As I look at my future I see no light at the end of the tunnel. There are a lot of things up in the air and some days are filled with thoughts ranging from uncertainty and doubt to fear and insecurity. On those days the uncertainty surrounding my future makes it easy to look longingly on the past.

I miss the life I had during my undergraduate studies.

It was simple:

Friends

Breakdancing

Girls

Movies/TV Shows

School

Church

You're probably wondering how breakdancing beat out girls... That's a whole different topic.

My priorities were obviously a bit skewed. But I can only seem to remember the good times. That's usually how it works when you look back. The bad times turn into funny stories and the good times seem even better. I was not focused on what I should have been.

A change was necessary and it happened---I moved away.

But now I sometimes look back.

"But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt."

(Genesis 19:26)

I thought of this story as I thought of how I sometimes wish for my old life back.

Lot was told to get his family out of Sodom before the Lord destroyed it and he was commanded to, "look not behind thee." (Genesis 19:17)

His wife looked. She was crystallized--instantly.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says that the problem was not that she just looked back at Sodom-- "in her heart she wanted to go back."

Crap. I don't know about you but sometimes I want to go back.

So how do you keep your eyes focused on the future--especially when the future is filled with question marks?

No, but seriously-- if you have an answer at this point in time it would be great if you would just comment right now and help me out.

The best thing I can come up with is this-- my moments of weakness where I look back longingly are sparked by the catalysts of doubt and fear. As far as I can tell the only way to overcome these two problems is to replace them with FAITH.

Elder Holland said that, "Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the 'high priest of good things to come.' " (Hebrews 9:11)

Ugh. Knowing what you need to do doesn't make it easier.

I'm confident the Lord isn't going to turn me into salt---but you know that might actually be better than the consequences I'll face if I don't learn to stop looking back.

365 days of "likening the scriptures"

I am 26.

I live at home.

I am unemployed.

I have no medical or dental insurance.

I have a bank account that says I can't afford a movie.

I have expenses that have long since surpassed my income.

I am 2000 miles away from the life I spent years building back west.

Days of uncertainty are more common than not.

I moved back home to find a job. I didn't.

I wanted to fix things with my girlfriend. I didn't.

I wanted to fix my life spiritually. I did.

1 out of 3 isn't exactly a stellar statistic in any field.

As a missionary I had a passion for studying and teaching the Gospel. I lost that not long after I returned home. I traveled down a path that kept me from serving in the Church and placed on a spiritual rollercoaster.

When I moved home I was made the Gospel Principles teacher and part-time Seminary teacher.

The fire was rekindled.

Being home has been difficult. I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy, frustration and loneliness. But, the past several months have been the greatest blessing the Lord could have given me. Preparing lessons for my classes has compelled me to search and ponder instead of read and skim.

"... I did liken all the scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning."

(1 Nephi 19:23)

In an effort to make sure the fire doesn't dim I have challenged myself to write daily about the connection between the scriptures and the experiences I have. For the next 365 days I am going to liken the scriptures to my life. With all of the uncertainty and fear about my future hopefully it will be for my profit and learning.