private tears.

I couldn't hold the tears back this morning.

We watched Gordon B. Hinckley: A Giant Among Men in seminary this morning. I highly recommend it. It is a touching film that documents some of the key events in the life of this great man. I was touched as the movie ended and I heard his testimony and felt the spirit again confirm that this man was called of God.

We discussed the mission of Samuel the Lamanite this week. He did not have an easy mission. He was called to preach to a people immersed in wickedness.

"...as many as there were who did not believe in the words of Samuel were angry with him; and they cast stones at him upon that wall, and also many shot arrows at him as he stood upon the wall..." (Helaman 16:2)

We spent a lot of time talking about how our disobedience and murmuring is the equivalent of stoning the modern-day prophets.

As I sat there listening to the emotion in President Hinckley's testimony I was touched.

I thought of my personal disobedience.

I thought of the problems at home with my sister.

I thought of the struggles I am having in my relationship.

I saw all of my weaknesses magnified.

I thought of all the blessings and opportunities I have forfeited.

I struggled to bear my testimony. I love those youth. I see qualities and attributes in each of them that many of them have yet to discover. I was touched as I thought about the opportunity before them.

They don't have to make the mistakes I did. They don't have to wait to claim the blessings of the Lord.

They can have those blessings now.

I am in the middle of the most uncertain and often discouraging situations I have ever faced -- but the Lord has also put me in the most rewarding and spiritually strengthening situations as well. I am happy and I feel a peace that I haven't had in years.

While a young man Hinckley decided to dedicate his life to the Lord.

I felt that same desire this morning.